by - Sunday, June 05, 2016

Waiting - I've just realized - can be a blessing, I think I'm allowed to type. While I have been feeling all sorts of emotions lately, the nervous anticipation of what kind of labour I will go through is what exactly I haven't thought of. Being late to taking first deep breath, my baby boy is letting me take advantage of a rainbow of feelings due to my embarrassing impatience (with some amount of frustration appearing once in a way) that labour rarely crosses my mind. Awesome, right? I'd rather visualize first milky breaths and toothless yawns, put our first trips to the beach in the centre of my mind naturally avoiding images consisting of a birthing pool, hospital bed and the Entonox machine I used before with such ease and no spectacular results. The overload of what's here and now helps me to avoid drilling into unanswerable questions, fear and possible complications. I prefer to look beyond noticing the little things like my grey roots I will not have a chance to tackle straight away or nail varnish that is getting bothersome by the day.

 Just this morning all my vivid visions conceived in a hazy insomniac state were nothing but tons of images of a sweet tiny body clung to my milky breasts and soft slip worn under as opposite to midwives scurrying around in panic. Just snuggling, connecting, feeling blessed.

If energy permits I'll end the day with some fresh pineapple as everybody kindly suggests and maybe this well-known natural way of speeding up labour will bring our precious boy home. x

Dress: Atmosphere, Trench: La Redoute, Handbag: H&M, Ballerinas: George

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